Newsletter March 2011
Befrienders
Jo-Anna, Kathryn, Jenny, Debbie
Committee
Jo-Anna - Group Co-ordinator/Scottish Network Liaison/Training
Kathryn - Treasurer/Inscriptions/website
Nichola - Secretary
Christine - Hospital Liaison & Training
Clare - Hospital Liaison & Training
Jenny - Fundraising Co-ordinator
Debbie – Events Co-ordinator
Susan - Grants
Teresa – Press & Publicity
****New Contact Details****
Our telephone number is 08455280322
Our address is: Fife Sands, PO Box 29210, Dunfermline, KY12 2BS
Monthly Support Group Meetings
25th March – The Downie Lounge, Kirkcaldy
29th April – Holiday Inn Express, Halbeath Road, Dunfermline
27th May- The Downie Lounge, Kirkcaldy
24th June – Holiday Inn Express, Halbeath Road, Dunfermline
Next Pregnancy Support Group
If you would like support during a subsequent pregnancy, please check the website for up to date information.
The Tuesday Club
An informal Lunch Club that meets every Tuesday to provide an opportunity to meet other parents and their babies/toddlers, and to help support each other through parenthood.
See article below for further information.
If you have any contributions for the next edition, please submit them to us by
www.fifesands.co.uk fife-sands@tiscali.co.uk 08455280322 Registered Charity Number 299679
The Tuesday Club
The newly official Tuesday Club is going very well. We are now meeting in Saint Marie's church hall, Dunnikier Rd, Kirkcaldy, from 12.30-2.30pm. We make a small donation of £1 per week which covers snacks for kids and cuppas for parents.
The Tuesday club has been set up as a group of Sands mums realised that they needed more frequent support, and support that was specific to parenting. We felt it was inappropriate to to this at monthly support meetings. Yet parenting after one has lost a child brings its own complex difficulties and peer support is an ideal way to help. Originally we met informally for lunch once a week, but soon realised that with growing families that we needed somewhere warm, dry, safe and ours to let the kids run and the parents chat.
Everyone is welcome, all kids under 5 during term time ,and in holidays everyone can come.
We are hoping to have some visiting artists and specialists to run workshops and plan a summer trip and a visit to the pantomime at Christmas time.
If anyone has any old toys, ride-ons or baby stuff they no longer need please consider donating to us.
We have a Facebook page that we use to keep up to date, if you would like to be added get in touch with Clare on 07766754071.
Sponsored Bridge Walk
One of our recently bereaved couples, Kerry and Stevie have been very busy of late. They decided they wanted to do some fundraising for us and to raise awareness of the group by way of thank you for the support they have received following the death of their son Billy in October at just over 1 hour old. Kerry is terrified of bridges, water and heights, so what better way than to organise a sponsored walk over the Forth Road Bridge?! What started out as just a few friends has escalated and on Sunday 20th March at 11.11am we expect around 300 people to be out walking for Billy! We will be there to support them in the carpark behind the Bridge offices on the southside – additional parking is also available on the northside, in Deep Sea World's overflow car park if necessary. If you happen to be driving across the bridge at the time, please show your support by giving them a wave!
On the following Saturday, Kerry has also organised a bag-packing event in Sainsbury's in Leven, as well as a number of other initiatives in the pipeline – more info to follow.
Kerry's sister works at Diageo, and they have agreed that Fife Sands will be one of their 3 sponsored charities this year which is amazing!
A big thank you to Kerry and Stevie from us in raising awareness throughout Fife.
Council Voluntary Service Awards
Fife Sands was nominated by Marilyn Livingstone MSP for a CVS award last November. Committee members Susan and Clare attended on behalf of everyone.
The category Sands was nominated in was 'inclusion', sadly we did not win - however it was lovely to be considered and great that Marilyn recognised the good work we do.....maybe next year!
The awards were presented by Sara Brown, all in we had a pleasant evening and felt it was a worthwhile experience as we were able to network and become part of the voluntary community in Fife.
The Unexpected Journey – NHS Fife Training
I ran a workshop at NHS Fife's training day - the unexpected journey. We were asked to present a 45min workshop on the role of support groups in bereavement. I focused on the support that we give, discussing with the midwives the importance of monthly meetings, next pregnancy and our new Tuesday club. They were interested in the care women are given in their subsequent pregnancies and as I have had two successful pregnancies after Alfie died this was the main part of the workshop. I stressed the importance of continuity of care that is gentle, compassionate and most of all, that the couple feel as though they are in control of their care. The necessity of a bereavement midwife was discussed, as was the need for students to be present when a baby has died. How else will they learn how to provide the excellent care that we and our babies deserve? Although no longer alive, our little ones deserve respect, love and the same treatment as live babies. We have carried them with care and love from the beginning of their existence the same must be true at their untimely end. I encouraged the women at the training day to not be afraid of us, but to be kind.........ask us what we want, don't make assumptions - no matter what the outcome we are still mums and dads. I truly feel I made an impact, the midwives were shocked when I described some of the not so great treatment I was given by health professionals. Let's hope that with continuing training, parents and babies get the best care possible.
Clare
Family Christmas Service
The annual Christmas service was held in St Andrew's-Erskine church in Robertson Road, behind Queen Margaret Hospital. A change of venue had been necessary due to the increasing numbers attending this service.
The service was officiated jointly by Mark Evans, hospital Chaplain, and Rev Dr Ann Allison, who is the minister of the church. As always, it was a beautiful service, with children taking part, and everyone being invited to hang a bauble on the Christmas tree in exchange for a heart-shaped bauble, the theme this year being The Heart of Christmas.
There was a large turnout, with many staying for seasonal refreshments. Such was the success of the new venue, Mark has already booked it for this year's service on 11th December
April Service of Remembrance
Following on from Ian McDonald's departure, Val Wilmshurst has taken on the responsibility for the Service usually held in April at St Bryce Kirk. However, due to other commitments with both Val and the Church, we have been unable to secure a date until 22nd May. The service will start at 2pm with refreshments served afterwards.
Dunfermline Cemetery
Last year we advised you that work was to begin on redeveloping the baby garden at Dunfermline Cemetery but nothing happened. There has been much work on Debbie's part chasing up the relevant parties and I am pleased to report that work finally started this week. It is hoped that the majority of work will be completed within a four week period, although adverse weather will have an affect on progress. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to get in touch.
Inscriptions
I would like to extend our apologies for the recent delay in inscriptions being carried out. This was due to a number of factors which were out with our control. The initial problem was due to the atrocious weather – as you can appreciate, the tools which are used to carry out the sculpting cannot be used in wet conditions. Our sculptor then needed to take time off due to a family bereavement.
While we appreciate that it is a very upsetting time to have to wait for your precious baby's name to go onto the headstone, I would ask you to remember a couple of things – firstly, this group is run by volunteers, all of whom are fully aware of what it is like to lose a much wanted baby. We are here to help others as we were helped when we were in need of support. Sadly, Kathryn has had to endure a number of very unpleasant phone calls from parents in connection with inscriptions which have been inappropriate. We do understand your pain, but we have not been able to speed things up for the reasons stated. Secondly, we have had many issues in the past with inscriptions being inconsistent which resulted in us having to have headstones replaced as they had become so untidy. We have been delighted with the work carried out by our current stonemason so it was not an option to call in some one else to carry out the work. Finally, the headstones belong to Fife Sands and no-one else has the authority to instruct a 3rd party to carry out inscriptions on their behalf.
Easter Party
As we had to cancel the Christmas Party due to the snow, we will be holding an Easter Party on Sunday 24th April from 11.30 till 1.30 at Dalgety Bay Sports & Lesuire Centre, St David's Harbour, KY11 9NA. There will be soft play & bouncy castles along with some party games, Easter Egg Hunt and lots more fun. For insurance purposes, parents are asked to stay with their children.
We hope to see you there - please RSVP to Nichola with the number of children attending & age.
nichoafyfe@hotmail.com or 01383 820418 / 07746 133645
Dates for your Diary
24th April – Easter Party, Dalgety Bay Sports & Leisure Centre
21st May – Scottish Network Day in Aberdeen
22nd May – Service of Remembrance, St Bryce Kirk, Kirkcaldy
June - Awareness Month
26th June – Family picnic and Balloon release, Lochore Meadows
28th August – Service of Remembrance, Queen Margaret Hospital, Dunfermline
8th October – National AGM in Liverpool
15th October - Baby Loss Awareness Day
11th December – Family Christmas Service, St Andrew's Erskine Church, Dunfermline
Car window stickers
We have new window stickers in stock with our updated logo and contact details. If you would like one (or two) for your family car(s), then please email or give us a call.
New Arrivals
Huge congratulations to:
Cathy & Mike on the safe arrival of Matthew David Christopher on 29th November, little brother to the late Cameron William
Shona & Ally on the birth of Iona Raonaid on 13th December, little sister to the late Isla Rose
Robert & Louise on the birth of Macy Louise on 7th February, little sister to the late Eden, Farah & Zoe
Volunteers required
We are looking for volunteers who would be willing to maintain the baby gardens on a regular basis. We currently have volunteers who look after Hayfield, but if anyone is interested in helping out at any of the other baby gardens, please get in touch.
Donations
A huge thank you to.....
£800 received from PC Susan Martin, St Andrews Police Station from local fundraiser in memory of Farah, Eden and Zoe |
£59.89 from collection tin held at Morgans Solicitors |
£10 from an unknown couple seen through the early pregnancy clinic |
£200 from Lodge Oak 877 - Kelty Cork Lodge |
£128.50 from Morgans Solicitors staff rather than sending xmas cards and through raffling a hamper |
£28 from Hair Supreme |
£30 from Fiona in memory of Adam |
£600.11 from St Brycedale Church at Christmas Eve collection |
£150 from Fife Council staff at New City House, Dunfermline from dress down days |
£410.16 from Kerry and Stevie from collection at Billy's funeral |
£413.87 from from Methil Toddlers PJ day in memory of Nairn |
£100 from Khaki and David in memory of Isla |
£33590 from The Glasgow Freight Club from donations at January lunch |
£100 from JG & ML Hunter in memory of Aiden James |
£100 from Briony |
£100 from sponsored swim by swimmers aged 4-14 on Tuesday and Wednesday nights at Woodmill Community Wing |
£1000 from Rotary Club of Inverkeithing & Dalgety Bay from casino evening |
£200 from Bosch Rexroth Ltd Scotland from staff Christmas raffle |
£1406.50 Cheque from National Sands and closing entries on our justgiving page £400 from Gemma in memory of Archie, £50 from Karen in memory of Isla, £610 from Mairi and Caroline from Great North Run in memory of Jessica, £110 from Olive from sponsored bridge walk in memory of Jay, £5 anonymous, £221.50 from Claire from stopping smoking from Bounty Girls, £10 from Jenny for 5k Challenge Scotland in memory of Ryan and Adam |
£175 Cheque from National Sands a 50% split from Jenny - Challenge Scotland 5K run in memory of Ryan and Adam |
Angel of my Tears
How do you love a person who never got to be,
or try to envision a face you never got to see?
How do you mourn the death of one who never got to live.
When there's nothing to feel good about and nothing to forgive?
I love you, my little baby, my companion of the night.
Wandering through my lonely hours, beautiful and bright.
What does it mean to die before you ever were born,
to live the lovely night of life and never see the dawn?
Ah! My little baby, you lived like anyone!
Life's a burst of joy and pain. And then like yours, it's done.
I love you, my little baby, just as if you'd lived for years.
No more, no less, I think of you, the Angel of my tears.
Author Unknown.
Birthdays
Remembering all our babies, particularly those whose birthdays are approaching. We hope these days pass peacefully for you.
Holly
08/05/08
Ronan
12/05/07
Ryan
13-16/05/01
Iona
16/05/02
Eleanor Louise
17/05/05
Isla
24/05/10
Erin
30/05/98
Melanie
31/05/07
Erin
04/06/99
Steven Edward
07/06/09
Carson Thomas
09/06/10
Ryan Thomas
Benjamin
17/06/04
Angel
17/06/08
Olivia Mary Rose
26/06/07
Jessica
28/06/04
Liam
03/07/96
Mark Aidan
07/07/94
Matthew
10/07/03
Toni-Lee
22/07/02
Jamie
22/07/08
Tyreece Joseph
25/07/10
Kevin Shaun
29/07/84
Alyssa Jane
29/07/10