Newsletter March 2010
Welcome to the March edition of our quarterly newsletter.
New Arrivals
Many congratulations to:
Connie on the early but safe arrival of Levi Angel Patricia on 9th November, a wonderful baby sister to the late Angel.
Clair and Gary on the birth of Zander on 29th January. A beautiful baby
brother to the late Maddison.
Olive and Craig on the birth of Jessica 12th February. A beautiful baby sister to Olivia and the late Jay, whose birthday she shares.
Susan and Michael on the safe arrival of Violet on 1st March. A beautiful baby sister to the late Belle.
Services of Remembrance
Advance notice of the dates for the services of remembrance for this year.
April 18th St Bryce Kirk, Kirkcaldy at 2pm, led by Valerie Wilmshurst.
August 22nd Education Centre, Queen Margaret Hospital, at 1pm led by Mark Evans. December 12th Venue TBC, led by Mark Evans.
Scottish Network Day 2010
As mentioned in the last newsletter, we are hosting the fourth annual Network Day on 15th May at East End Park in Dunfermline. The day is open to anybody interested in learning more about the work of sands, or those who would like to become more involved. Groups from across Scotland will be attending along with health professionals. Confirmed speakers are Sue Hale, Group Development Officer National Sands, Frae Fife will be talking about diversity, a CHAS fundraiser will be giving us an insight into his work, a bereavement midwife will be talking of her role and we hope to have someone to talk
about the loss of a twin or more. We will also be discussing best practices across the groups, and Jenny, our befriender, will be telling us the story of her twin sons Ryan and Adam.
Annual Balloon Release
Our annual balloon release and family picnic will be held on Sunday 20th June at Lochore Meadows. The day starts at 12 with the balloons released at 2pm. All family and friends are welcome to join us for this family day out.
Bereavement Support Midwife
For a number of years we have been looking into the possibility of a Bereavement support Midwife at Forth Park. Following recent discussions with the hospital, it is proposed that we apply to fund a pilot project for one year, hopefully in conjunction with the Jennifer Brown Trust. Christine has put together a business plan for this, as well as a weekly clinic to support mums who are expecting a baby after a loss. For this we will need to commit a large sum of money but I am sure you will all agree this is a very worthwhile project, and something that is sadly very much needed. We will be looking to fundraise money to help support this project so if anyone has any ideas, please let us know as soon as possible. Please also consider taking part in one of the Challenge Scotland events to help us.
Donations
Our very grateful thanks go to the following for their recent donations:
£100 from Terri & Conrad
£265 from Pollokshields Primary in memory of Isla Rose
£130.70 from W & S Faichney in memory of Nairn
£100 from Lodge Oak
£554 from Royal London Group
£500 from Kathryn’s employers, Lloyds TSB, who have rewarded her dedication to the group with this donation
£520 from Elaine and Craig in memory of their daughter Sophie.
£373.67 from Glenwood High School
£246 from Nicola Anne who completed Dunfermline half marathon May 2009
£ 10 from A W Carstairs
£128 from Halleys Court Carol Concert
£921.25 from Kay, Family and Friends who also donated a further £2763.75 to
National Sands – fantastic effort in memory of Caleb
We have recently donated a beautiful Stokke crib to the Snowdrop room, along with a number of specially made soft moses baskets in various sizes. We have also donated a digital camcorder for parents use if so desired. We have been asked to contribute to another order for the memory sticks which are used for your precious baby photographs which we will be doing gladly. Mark Evans is to undertake a bereavement module as part of a Diploma in Health and Chaplaincy and we have agreed to support him for the module.
Website
Rob and Kathryn have been working really hard to create a new website – check it out, we'd really appreciate your feedback. We will be using the website much more to communicate with everyone, so please bookmark us and remember to visit regularly for up to date information on meetings and fundraising events. There will be an online memorial book – if you would like to commemorate your baby in this way, please email us with your baby's name and date – you may also include a short message.
Race Night
David & Nichola are looking to organise a Race night at Dalgety Bay Sailing Club. More information will be posted on the website once the date is confirmed.
Office Move
We have recently moved office within the hospital due to them needing the room we were in. We are still in Forth Park for the time being, but the new office is not openly accessible to the public. We have been advised that there will not be any available office space for us when Maternity Services transfer to the Victoria hospital. We are therefore currently on the lookout for new premises – ideally an office with enough space to hold the support group meetings in as well. We are looking in both the Kirkcaldy and Dunfermline areas in the first instance. If you know of anywhere that may be suitable, please contact us as soon as possible. As such we are putting the new
telephone system on hold until we have a permanent base. Apologies if there have been any delays with returning phone calls – we are still waiting for our telephone line to be transferred to our new office.
Runners/Walkers needed!
As part of Awareness month, the Scottish Sands Network have signed up with Challenge Scotland to raise funds and awareness on 6th June. There is a choice of a 6 mile walk, a 12 mile walk, the Golden Mile (aimed at the young, elderly and disabled) or a 5K run. If you would like to take part in this team event, please forward your details to me as soon as possible.
National Sands have also advised there are four guaranteed places left for the Edinburgh Marathon on 23rd May – these can be used for either the full or half marathon events as well as the Hairy Haggis team relay. If you are interested in this event, please get in touch with the Fundraising Team at Head Office (08456520448 or fundraising@uk-sands.org ) as the deadline date for entry is 15th April.
There are also a number of guaranteed places for the very first Scottish Kilmathon on 3rd October – this is a 26.2k road race that starts and finishes at Ingliston, heading into Fife across the Forth Road Bridge. Again, please contact the Fundraising Team as above.
Photograph Retouching
Thanks to a recommendation by one of our newly bereaved parents, I recently had some of the precious photos of our son, Ronan, digitally retouched. This was carried out by Heartprints, and I can truly say the work Heidi did was amazing. Heidi has removed the blemishes from Ronan's skin and the photos now better reflect my memory of our gorgeous son. You can check out the website at the link below.
http://personal.nbnet.nb.ca/crempel/Heartprints/index.htm
Birthday Wishes
Remembering all our babies, particularly those whose birthdays are approaching. We hope these days pass peacefully for you.
Holly 08/05/08
Ronan 12/05/07
Ryan 13 - 16/05/01
Eleanor Louise 17/05/05
Erin 30/05/98
Melanie 31/05/07
Erin 04/06/99
Ryan Thomas 14/06/96
Benjamin 17/06/04
Angel 17/06/08
Olivia Mary Rose 26/06/07
Jessica 28/06/04
Liam 03/07/96
Mark Aidan 07/07/94
Matthew 10/07/03
Toni-Lee 22/07/02
Jamie 22/07/08
Kevin 29/07/84
Just Those Few Weeks
For just those few weeks I had you to myself.
And that seems too short a time to be changed so profoundly.
In those few weeks, I came to know you... and to love you.
You came to trust me with your life. Oh what a life I had planned for you!
Just those few weeks...
when I lost you, I lost a lifetime of hopes, plans, dreams and aspirations.
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.
Just those few weeks...
It wasn't enough time to convince others how special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died and no one is mourning the passing.
Just a mere few weeks..
And no "normal" person would cry all night over a tiny unfinished baby,
or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I??
You were just those few weeks, my little one. You darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed to make my life richer
and to give me a small glimpse of eternity.
S Erling
To Those Who Look Away
To those who look away when I grow teary-eyed in the baby department, look a little deeper. Surely you have
some compassion in your heart.
To those who change the subject when I speak my son's name, change your way of thinking. It just might
change your whole life.
To those who roll their eyes and say that we barely had him at all, how could we miss him so much, in our
hearts we have seen him live a thousand times. We have seen his first steps, first day of school, his wedding,
and his children. We have had him forever in our minds.
To those who say we can have another, we did. I thank God for her everyday, but even if I have twenty more
babies, I will forever have one in his grave, and that is one too many.
To those who say to get on with my life, I have. It is a different life, The life of a grieving mother. One with a
tremendous amount to be thankful for, but also one with a lot to mourn the loss of!
Do not judge the bereaved mother. She comes in many forms.
She is breathing, but she is dying.
She may look young, but inside she has become ancient.
She smiles, but her heart sobs.
She walks, she talks, she cooks, she cleans, she works, she IS,
but she IS NOT, all at once.
She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity.
Do not dismiss us: we have shaped more than just the future generation.
We have released all the tiny angels who are watching over you.
Open your eyes to US ,and you just might see THEM.